


Blatant

by HeathenVampires



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: A Lot Of Sex Toys, Bad Dragon, Explicit Sexual Content, I don't know what to tag this is just a smutty pile of nonsense, Modern AU, Multi, Sex Toys, Some conversation inappropriate for a work place, Threesome - F/M/M, and a trip to Hiccup's playroom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:15:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24086455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeathenVampires/pseuds/HeathenVampires
Summary: When Astrid turns up to work one day drinking coffee out of a mug with Bad Dragon written on the side, Hiccup soon learns something surprising and intriguing about both her and Eret. It certainly livened up the office that day.
Relationships: Eret/Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	Blatant

**So, this all started because of a post about a cup, but in our group chat we're all proudly giggling perverts.  
**

**So here's a one shot to celebrate that. Sort of... pre quarantine themed Hicretstrid. With a lot of... name dropping.  
**

-HTTYD-

Hiccup yawned as he stepped out of the lift, hearing heavy steps to his left and turning to see a colleague, Eret, appearing from the stairwell.

"Beat ya!"

Eret laughed.

"Yeah, but only by a few seconds. Think _you_ could make it up in the same time as the lift?"

Hiccup stuck his tongue out.

"Not all of us are fitness freaks. Leave me to my caffeine!"

Eret rolled his eyes, drinking his _water_ like he had any business being so alert without coffee in the morning. They headed in to the near empty office - it was never _that_ bust anyway, and with a handful of colleagues in self-isolation against that virus going around cus they already had pre-existing conditions, it was even quieter. With about six of them left (four techs, one cleaner and one security, _plus_ a scowling boss who seemed to take the entire thing personally), his workplace seemed half-deserted. He'd bet anything there was someone down in HR, waiting to pick a fight with whoever was left.

Hiccup drained the last of his travel mug and rinsed it in the little kitchen area, then put the kettle on to make a fresh coffee in his normal office mug. Armed with more caffeine, Hiccup headed to his desk and got to work wasting time. There wasn't much to do.

Justin - or as he was jokingly known, Fishlegs - was already there when they arrived, and actually looked like he was doing something. Show off. Eret was spinning around on his chair, occasionally stopping to drum his fingers on the desk. It should be illegal to be so perky first thing in the mornings, Hiccup decided.

The sound of swearing in the hallway outside preceded the arrival of Astrid Hofferson, who muttered something about car trouble as she dumped some stuff at her desk, retrieved something from her bag and headed right to the kitchen. Much like Hiccup, caffeine was her on-switch before work.

Eret had just gotten up to come bug Hiccup under guise of asking advice on something technical - who he was pretending for was anyones guess, as Astrid didn't care and Justin was laid back so long as nobody distracted him - when Astrid appeared from the kitchen, black mug in hand as she headed to her desk. Hiccup's eyes were initially drawn to the mug because he spotted a dragon.

Hiccup really liked dragons.

Then he choked as he realised what was written _under_ the dragon picture. Eret frowned, following Hiccup's eyeline. The hastily-stifled noise he made told Hiccup Eret recognised that logo just as much as Hiccup.

Astrid took a long sip from her drink, watching the two of them. She lowered the mug, winked, raised the mug in a sort of joking salute and sat at her desk with a smirk. Hiccup and Eret shared a sideways look, but opted not to discuss what they'd just learned about each other and Astrid all at once. Eret returned to his desk, and they sat in relative silence for about half an hour before Hiccup saw his phone light up. There was a notification there from _Whatsapp_ , which he initially intended to ignore. Then he realised Astrid was watching, with a look of _well, I'm waiting_ that suggested she'd been the one to message him.

He opened it hesitantly - there was an in-work instant messenger that allowed them to speak on their screens. Astrid was obviously sending something she didn't want recorded by their systems, even though Hiccup was usually the one who monitored said communications.

The message was from a newly made group chat, featuring himself, Astrid and Eret. Astrid had clearly intended to go for obvious, given what she'd set as the 'subject' of said group chat.

_Bad Dragon._

Grinning to herself, Astrid raised her mug again, holding Hiccup's eye the whole time before his gaze dropped down to his phone.

**Astrid:** _Seems like you both have good taste._

Hiccup didn't look up. He wasn't sure his face wasn't crimson, and Astrid would never let him live it down.

 **Hiccup** : _Why would you bring that into the office? You're insane! What if someone from HR saw it?_

 **Eret** : _They'd have to explain how they knew what it was first.  
_

 **Hiccup** : _Fair point._

 **Astrid** : _Honestly, the looks on your faces were worth it even if someone_ had _made an issue out of it._

Hiccup glanced up. Astrid was still grinning. Eret's cheeks were still a little pink, but he seemed to have already moved from embarrassment to amusement.

 **Eret** : _So, is it only the mug you have?_

Hiccup's eyes widened as he saw Eret's message, widening further when he heard Astrid giggle and saw her typing out a reply.

 **Astrid** : _Wouldn't you like to know?_

 **Eret** : _I'll show you mine if you show me yours.  
_

Half-expecting their boss to peer in and yell at them for not working, Hiccup glanced around surreptitiously before he responded.

 **Hiccup** : _Careful Eret, she might whip out something even you can't handle._

Eret snorted aloud, muffling laughter in his hand when Justin looked over at them with faint disapproval.

"Sorry buddy."

He grunted in acknowledgement, turning back to his computer to continue working. Eret was already typing out a new answer.

 **Eret** : _Bold of you to assume there's **anything** I can't handle. _

**Astrid** : _Hey, for all we know all you've ever gotten in is a teenie weenie, or maybe a lil squirt._

Hiccup stifled a snicker in his hand.

 **Hiccup** : _I actually collect teenie weenies! I have a display shelf for them._

 **Eret** : _Hey! I can definitely handle more than a lil squirt!_

 **Astrid** : _Oh really?_

 **Eret** : _Winstons Tail. XL. Takes a while but... gotta love the ridges!_

Eret noticably squirmed in his seat. Hiccup winced a little for a moment. Their XL toys were... _hefty._ And that was coming from a guy who liked a certain level of girth. He did have to admire Eret's candid response though; most men did not freely admit to being able to put large draconic sex toys inside themselves. Well, Eret might have had help...

 **Astrid** : _Never tried the tail. I do have his tongue though. Better oral than half the humans I've fucked. Hey Hiccup, do you have a Meng?_

 **Hiccup** : _Why would you ask that?_

 **Astrid** : _Because you really, really like dragons. If we're talking ridges though, it's Kelvin for me._

Hiccup _did_ have the one she'd asked about, but he didn't answer on principle.

 **Eret:** _Yeah, I like my Kelvin too. Not my favourite, but a trusty one if I'm not up for a long session.  
_

 **Astrid** : _Actually, one of my favourites is named after you._

 **Eret** : _Ah yes, the Hunter? Tried it, but I'm not a big fan of knots, as it turns out. Shame. It's almost as pretty as I am._

Their work day had taken an unexpected turn, and when it came to break time, the three headed up to the roof where smokers usually resided, but with the reduced staff numbers, there was nobody up there. They continued on joking and comparing toy names for a while, their friendship apparently leaping up several notches with the discovery they all liked fantasy sex toys.

"I actually have the Hanns, but it was a joke gift. My Winstons Tongue was a birthday gift, otherwise Cami probably wouldn't have sunk the extra cash to get it in my favourite black and gold glitter finish."

"Who gives you a BD as a joke?"

Astrid laughed, obviously reminiscing.

"My... I was gonna say ex, but we were more like fuck buddies. We're still friends but she's dating someone now. Anyway, she had an ex by the name of Hans, one N. I hooked up with him once. Don't know how she tolerated him for more than five minutes, he was so _dull._ And, well, BD Hanns only comes in one size, so Anna joked when she gave it to me that she was sorry they didn't make one small enough to be lifesize."

Eret cracked up laughing, Hiccup joining in soon after as Astrid grinned.

"That's _terrible!"_

"Yeah, well, so was he. Personality and performance. I kicked him out and treated myself to an hour with Xerxes."

Hiccup had seen that one - it had an insertable part and a small little tongue-shaped nub he expected was aimed at clitoral stimulation.

"He your favourite?"

"Definitely my most used. What about you?"

"Me?"

Astrid nodded, moving a step or two closer to Hiccup with a smirk on her face.

"Yeah. We've talked about our favourites. What are yours?"

"Uh. Sugar Star and Janine."

He had to think quickly, and those were what came out.

"What are they? Oh, they're the uh, cock sleeve things. Right?"

Hiccup nodded. Eret laughed.

"C'mon, you _know_ that wasn't what she was asking. What is it? You been taking Chance? I doubt it. You definitely go for dragons."

"Well, they were what sprang to mind!"

With a pointed glance downward, Astrid turned smouldering eyes up to Hiccup.

"That's not all that's _sprung,_ by the looks of things."

Was it him, or was it hot up there?

"We should get back to work!"

He managed to escape using the element of surprise, completely forgetting about actually eating lunch as he got back to his desk, trying to ignore the persistent erection trapped in his trousers. Just _thinking_ about some of his toys was enough to turn him on, apparently. It had been a while since he played with anyone but himself, he supposed. And, well, both Astrid and Eret were pretty easy on the eye and talking candidly about how they liked to fuck themselves with various toys. It was little wonder he was kind of turned on...

His phone vibrated in his pocket just as Astrid and Eret walked back in, Eret tossing a protein bar on to Hiccup's desk with a wink as he went to his seat.

 **Astrid** : _I'll find out what your favourites are if I have to come to your house and see them myself._

 **Eret:** _Can I come too? I'll bring snacks. And Winston._

Hiccup chewed on the donated protein bar and stared at his phone, the images conjuring themselves in his brain sending more blood south.

 **Astrid** : _If Hiccup doesn't invite us over, I'm coming to your place. I want to see this big boy._

 **Eret** : _I do also have the tail in a medium too, if you wanted to try tongue and tail. Maybe together._

Hiccup had to put his phone down, because he couldn't keep reading _and_ ignore his cock, trying to politely ignore his brain creating images of a naked Astrid and Eret getting busy with Bad Dragon toys.

"So... your place?"

Astrid sat herself in the vacant chair next to Hiccup, looking quite at ease. Eret swung a chair to sit next to them both. Hiccup glanced over at Justin, but he was gathering his things for a late lunch break and soon left them completely alone.

"M-my place?"

"Yeah. We could go to my place but yanno, Snotface lives there too. I should stop spending my money on sex toys and move out. But _you?_ You live alone."

Hiccup blinked. How much conversation had he missed by ignoring his phone for ten minutes?

"Yeah. So?"

"So... am I gonna have to spell this out for you?"

"It would help."

Astrid rolled her eyes, slumping lower in her seat with a dramatic sigh.

"Well, the three of us are in one place. We may or may not happen to bring along some of our favourite toys. We see where the night takes us."

Was... Hiccup was definitely being propositioned. When did that happen?

"Uh. Three?"

"Yeah. Well, I don't know for sure that Eret is in to guys, but I figure any guy willing to put an extra large bad dragon up their ass is at _least_ not gonna be against a threesome. And I've seen _you_ check out me, him _and_ that cute delivery guy who comes by every week. So I know _you_ like guys."

Expecting to be told any second they were pulling his leg, Hiccup turned to Eret in vague hopes of reason.

"My ex called me an adult theme park. If you're old enough, I'll probably let you ride me."

Astrid burst out laughing at Eret's choice of phrase, and Hiccup couldn't keep a straight face himself.

"You guys are serious?"

"Deadly. But no pressure. I'm trying to fuck you, not marry you. If you're worried it'll make work awkward, I will remind you Anna and I are still friends and colleagues and we hooked up for like, six months."

Eret nodded in agreement.

"Exactly. And neither of us is gonna judge you if your toy box has a lime green armour plated dong in."

Well. Eret had a good point there. There was always a concern with new partners that they'd find the Bad Dragon collection a bit much - Hiccup never saw anyone twice if they thought his Teenie Weenies were 'freaky looking', because he knew they weren't likely to be in to his real collection.

"I would _never_ go for lime green."

That set both his colleagues laughing, and Hiccup realised that despite possibly having just agreed to some kind of messy, toy-filled threesome, neither Astrid or Eret were acting differently. The only one being awkward, it seemed, was him.

"One question though. Are you a brony?"

Hiccup frowned at Eret's question, but soon realised what his friend was getting at.

"No? I didn't know that's what the Sugar Star was meant to be. It didn't say it on the description, and I bought it based on the picture of the insides, and its size."

"Oh really?"

Astrid was leaning in a little closer. Hiccup did his best not to look down her shirt - they _were_ still at work, no matter what she might have been planning to do to him.

"Yes. And that's all I'm going to say on the matter."

"Well, I'm sure I'll see for myself."

* * *

As she pulled up at Hiccup's house, Astrid could see Eret reappearing from through the back gate, where she assumed he'd been locking up his bike. Hiccup's head appeared over said gate as he locked it, letting them know the front door was unlocked.

They let themselves in, found Hiccup in a clearly well-used kitchen.

"How did you afford a place of your own? I'm so jealous! And worried I'm gonna fail a drug test from the passive high of second hand smoke."

Eret asked - he lived with a set of twins, who Astrid had met a few times and they were pretty much always stoned off their tits. Hiccup shrugged as he pulled a couple of things out of the fridge.

"I helped take care of my grandpa when I was a teenager, and when he died he left me most of what he made selling his house because he was grateful to not have spent his last days in a care home. So I bought this place. It needed a lot of work, which is the only reason I could _afford_ a two bed but it was totally worth all the work. I love my kitchen."

She knew from working with him for the last couple of years that Hiccup liked to cook and bake - when birthdays rolled around, everyone gave Hiccup a couple of pounds each and he brought in some incredible sweet treats. There were photos stuck to the fridge, and what Astrid suspected was a pattern of hand painted scales filling in the gaps between tiles on the walls.

"So, where's your bedroom?"

Halfway through handing Eret a drink, Hiccup raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you wanna see my bedroom?"

Astrid was initially a little wrong-footed. Had he forgotten why she was there?

"I don't think all three of us will fit on your sofa. At least not without falling off."

Hiccup laughed, holding out a bottle of water to Astrid.

"True, although that is a pull out sofa. But I don't keep most of my toys in my bedroom. Just a couple of favourites and my Teenie Weenies case."

"Why Hiccup, do you have an honest-to-gods playroom here?"

"Maybe. Here, take this."

She took the bottle. Hiccup grabbed his own, and since he didn't have a bag full of dicks with him, he also brought some kind of fruity, cakey looking thing.

"Are you seriously bringing snacks?"

"Gotta keep your blood sugar up!"

Eret seemed rather pleased. Astrid wondered if that was because Hiccup was implying they'd be in there a while, or if it was just because he liked to eat.

"Did you shower before you came over, or do you want to do that now?"

Both she and Eret answered 'before', Hiccup passing his drink bottle to Eret for a minute so he could retrieve a key from his pocket. One door on the upstairs hallway was open, revealing his bedroom. He gestured to another door, informing them it wsa the bathroom.

"Either of you allergic to latex?"

"Nope."

"Why?"

"In case I needed to get out my latex free condoms."

That hadn't even occurred to Astrid. At least _someone_ was thinking properly. Just packing up Hunter and Xerxes earlier had her hot, thinking about the many possible ways she'd fuck or be fucked that evening fuelling the heat in her belly.

And, since the possibility of toy sharing had come up, their group chat _had_ included the 'when was your last check up' question, which had also put her at ease. While she knew and trusted Hiccup and Eret well enough, it was always reassuring to have indications her safety was a consideration of theirs, especially when she was one woman joining two men.

Hiccup got the door open, took the bottle back out of Eret's hand and stepped through, the other two following.

" _Wow._ Niiiice."

"I definitely have to get my own place."

Safely locked away from prying eyes, Hiccup's playroom displayed the kinky side Astrid had only just started to glimpse. There were two big, heavy duty cupboards, some colourful looking toys up on shelves, hooks with crops and whips and cuffs fixed to the wall. Gods, there were even spots higher up clearly intended to chain and restrain someones hands above their head. Astrid was stunned. And _thrilled._

"Just so you know, if I had known about this playroom sooner, I'd probably have already fucked you through the floor."

Hiccup laughed.

"My first job after college was in a toy shop my girlfriend at the time worked in. I was there to maintain their admin, not their vibrators, but between that and the kinky girlfriend, I did learn a fair bit. And then she asked for a Bad Dragon vibrator for her birthday. I got curious, and ordered myself a little one. Kind of went from there. The shop moved locations and the new manager sacked me, but I'd say that job changed my life. Definitely my sex life."

Still taking in the room with glee, Astrid turned back to her friends of the evening.

"I wasn't expecting this much equipment. I don't think I need to ask if either of you are exclusively tops" Hiccup's cheeks coloured, and Eret grinned "but are either of you rigidly Dom or sub?"

Hiccup shook his head. Eret laughed, affecting a ridiculously fake deep voice.

"I'm whatever you want me to be baby."

"If you do that again I'm tying you up in the corner and leaving you there, gagged. You have gags, right Hiccup?"

He chuckled.

"Yeah, they're in the cupboard on the left. That's all wearables. Collar and leash. Chastity. Gags and blindfolds. Couple of harnesses. The right is mostly pain or stimulation, so paddles and floggers and the like. And there's a box of plugs and vibrators under the bed."

As fun as it was listening to Hiccup list all the various things Astrid wholly intended on exploring _later,_ she was bored of _talking_ and dropped her bag upon the bed in the middle of the room, then jumped on him. Hiccup grunted in surprise as she silenced him mid-sentence with a kiss, but he was soon returning it. It seemed he was a lot less awkward and nervous on home turf, in the playroom he'd constructed to fit his needs perfectly.

When Hiccup pulled away to catch his breath, Astrid dragged Eret down to kiss her next. He was very agreeable to such a thing, mouth hot and eager against her own.

"Did you bring the big one?"

"I did, but I also brought the much more manageable medium of it."

Astrid giggled at his alliteration, then realised something.

"Before I get distracted by that, I remembered something."

"Oh?"

Hiccup looked curious. And aroused. Which was good.

"Yeah. You still haven't fessed up to your favourites."

"Oh. Right."

He turned and picked up a box from one of the shelves, placing it down on the bed and fiddling with the lid.

"These are my top three. This is Elliot" Elliot was pretty big, but nothing outlandish other than the dark blue sparkles "Crackers, and Scorn. I did check out Blaze, but nobody had a good word to say about him unless you just want a thick knot."

"Fucking _hel_ Hiccup, you don't like 'em thin huh?"

Eret exclaimed, picking up the Crackers and Scorn toys. His fingers couldn't quite meet around the thickest parts of the shaft.

"If I'm going to the hassle of something more than a plug or vibe, then I like to feel... _full._ Elliot is more for when I want something closer to if I was getting fucked by a person. And, if I remember correctly, you're not shy about girth either."

Scorn was short and stout, ridged along the underside. Crackers was bigger, though shorter than the nine inches of Elliot Hiccup was now handling. Astrid wasn't _quite_ as accomplished with girth as it seemed either of the men were, but her body still tingled at the thought of _trying._

"Come on, I got mine out."

Eret snickered as Astrid nodded agreeably, reaching for her bag.

"Meet Hunter, and Xerxes."

Eret, of course, then got the XL out that was about the length of his _forea_ _rm._ Even Hiccup looked uncertain.

"It's not for the faint of heart, I don't use it often but those ridges..." he shuddered in pleasure "and then I also have my Mystic, and Orochi. I like the slightly weird looking ones, apparently."

Mystic was a _unicorn horn._ Somehow, Astrid wasn't that surprised, but she couldn't help laughing as he waved it about.

"You're not kidding. Surprised there's no Tako in here."

Laughing, Eret placeed the massive one away.

"I have one, but coudn't get on with it. So I just left it on a shelf and told my flatmates it was for a nautical theme. Thinking about getting myself a Trent instead."

They moved the toys to one side for the moment and got on the bed, starting to undress each other in between kisses. Astrid could quite happily have watched Hiccup and Eret make out for a while, if she was honest.

She was _very_ happy when they were both out of their bottoms, feeling the weight and girth of their erections in her hands, squeezing through cotton underwear.

They stripped her eagerly in turn, Astrid's bra flung to unknown places and forgotten before it even hit the floor. Hiccup's thumb dragged over her nipple, pinching between his fingers and smirking against her mouth when Astrid moaned happily.

"Is nipple play something you're in to?"

She nodded eagerly, gasping when Eret's hand joined Hiccup's on her chest, squeezing a nipple each. Hiccup pulled away and left the bed, much to her displeasure, but he was only hunting through one of his little treasure troves before he returned with nipple suckers in hand. Eret withdrew his fingers to let Hiccup apply them, squeezing the bulb to create a tiny little vacuum in the tube, so when it was sealed around Astrid's nipple there was a constant tugging, permanent suction. He repeated it on her other nipple, then flicked the end of the tube. Astrid jumped, already certain she'd made the best decision of her life to fuck the two men in bed with her.

"Let me know if you need them off, but they do look very nice on you."

When they came off, her nipples would be swollen, taut and hypersensitive, but even now she was enjoying that tugging, tight feeling.

Eret kissed her as Hiccup removed her underwear, the rough pads of his thumbs rubbing over her hipbones before trailing down toward her thighs. Already wet and hot with anticipation, Astrid almost _bit_ Eret when Hiccup pressed firmly on her clit, rubbing in a tight circle that had her thigh muscles twitching. Long, slender fingers curled up inside her, Hiccup's eyes fixed on Astrid's face when she looked down, watching her keenly.

"In a hurry Hiccup?"

"Are you kidding? This is just warming up."

When Astrid bucked and growled, Hiccup knew he'd found the right spot, rubbing at it with his fingers, encouraging her to drip down over his hand as he stoked her arousal. With his thumb on her clit as he fucked her with his fingers, Hiccup's 'warm up' turned out to include taking Astrid right to the edge of climax and over it. Which, as Hiccup pointed out, would leave her nice and wet and loose for toying with.

Stretching herself out a little, Astrid enjoyed her little afterglow moment while Hiccup returned to Eret, the two conversing about how much prep Eret needed to take anything of substantial size.

"I uh, kind of stretched myself earlier. So unless you're gonna jam the XL up in there, anything lubed will probably go."

Astrid _wished_ she'd had such forethought. Hiccup seemed quite happy though, offering Eret his choice of toys - he opted for Mystic - and fetching some of Bad Dragon's own brand lubricant, Hiccup turned Eret on his front and set about working the toy inside him.

"Now, you're gonna stay like this until I'm ready for you."

"Hey!"

Hiccup shushed him.

"Don't worry, you still get to watch."

Astrid _really_ liked this more at ease, confident Hiccup. She definitely planned on seeing more of him, if Hiccup was agreeable. For the moment, he was nudging her thighs open, testing her with three fingers, mouth slightly open and eyes dark as he felt her clench around him.

"Should we go right for Hunter, or would you rather start with Xerxes?"

"Uhhhh... Hunter."

She might use Xerxes later, Astrid thought, if she needed to entertain herself while the boys were playing. Hiccup picked the toy up, angling it so the nice bumps would rub Astrid's g-spot just the way she liked it to. His cock was still straining in his boxers, the only one still wearing anything at all. Coating Hunter with a copious amount of lube, Hiccup knelt between her spread legs.

"Let me know if you need me to slow down, or wait, ok?"

"I will, but I take him plenty, just don't ram it and we'll be fine."

Hunter wasn't too long, but it was pretty damn thick, tapering down from a slim head to a thick knot toward the base. Astrid wasn't usually in to knots, but enough people raved about the Hunter's texture and shape that she gave in and got one.

 _Awesome_ purchase, she had quickly realised.

Hiccup worked it in slowly, watching the various bumps and bulges disappear into Astrid one by one until he was only holding the base. Astrid bit her lip, relishing the fullness, squeezing it to feel every ridge and bump. Gripping the base, Hiccup pulled it back and forth a couple of times, the pressure of the thick base sliding in and out of her enough to have Astrid squirming and mewling.

"Good?"

"Mmmmm. Leave it in."

Hiccup did so, ensuring it was as deep as it could go before he let go, just the cup base visible between her legs. He looked up at her, Hiccup's mind obviously running on a similar track to her own as she lifted her knees, spreading her legs and nodding encouragingly.

"Need it slow?"

"No. Just be thorough if I'm taking you _and_ Hunter."

His fingers slick with the thick, viscous lube, Hiccup slipped one into her ass, waiting when she tensed instinctively. The motion made her tighten around Hunter, sending lovely darts of aching pleasure rolling through her. Already, she was quivering in anticipation of being filled twice; there were definitely perks to playing with people who liked Bad Dragon too, she mused as Hiccup added a second finger, working her open, occasionally pressing his fingers up to nudge against Hunter.

Eret's eyes were absolutely riveted, gaze locked on where Hiccup was fingering her, his hips rocking to rut himself against the bed.

"How do you want this? On top? From behind? Like this?"

Well, Astrid never turned down a chance to get on top. Hiccup shucked his shorts and sheathed his cock with a condom as she manouvered herself, adding more lube and holding himself in place when he'd laid on his back. It was a _snug_ fit with the toy already in her but when her backside came flush with his thighs, Astrid was breathless with the _fullness,_ the stretch just a little too much and yet absolutely _perfect._

Hiccup waited patiently, though Astrid could see his face tight with the effort of doing so every time her body tensed and squeezed his cock. She could have sworn she felt every bump and ridge of both the toy and his cock, so tight with them both in her as she was.

The base of Hunter had some texture, with Astrid could feel rubbing against her clit when she sank down, tempted beyond words to just grind herself down until she came. It was with monumental effort she braced her hands on Hiccup's chest, lifting her hips and starting to ride him.

"Not hurting you is it?"

She asked, and Hiccup shook his head.

"Nope. Just... interesting. Oh, hang on."

His hands came up, quickly squeezing and pulling to free Astrid's nipples from the little suckers. They swelled instantly, throbbing and sensitive. When Hiccup squeezed one between his fingers, Astrid almost sobbed with the onslaught of sensations wracking her body - the toy, his cock, her pleasantly tormented nipples. Not content to leave it at that, Astrid barely had time to blink before Eret joined in, his mouth closing around her other nipple and sucking harshly.

It was over almost embarrassingly fast, her whole body spasming in ecstacy, muscles fluttering and gripping so tight at Hiccup's cock in her ass that he whined. So, _so_ wet, Astrid felt Hunter begin to slip out of her as she began to relax, saved by Hiccup pressing it back up, the pressure on her g-spot sending secondary quakes through her.

"Enough, enough!"

He stopped right away, even eased Hunter out of her carefully, Eret holding her up so Astrid's weak legs wouldn't just drop her. Extricating herself from Hiccup was a little more difficult, the empty ache inside her leaving her shaky. They knew, though, knew what that was like and soothed her until Astrid's raging hormones calmed just a little.

"You alright now?"

"Mmm. Just that little come down after."

"We've all had drops. You sure you're ok?"

"I'm good. As you were gentlemen."

Eret didn't need asking twice, letting Hiccup take off his used condom before pouncing, the two kissing and rutting against each other for a minute or two.

"So... now what are you doing with me?"

He asked, and Hiccup was grinning.

"If Astrid doesn't mind helping, I was thinking I'd fill in for Mystic while she jerks you off with one of my sleeves. And, once we're done with that, maybe we take turns getting Astrid off cus she strikes me as someone who doesn't settle for one round a night."

Neither she or Eret had _any_ complaints about that. After retrieving one of his masturbation sleeves, Hiccup got Eret up on his knees, kneeling behind him with a fresh condom on. Astrid squeezed the sleeve in her hand, feeling the weight - and admiring the _size_ of it, which Hiccup hadn't been kidding about. Both in terms of the toy and his own size.

"This is heavy!"

"It's worth it."

He quipped back, handing Astrid the lube and nodding at the sleeve. She dumped a hearty helping in there, stuck her fingers in to make sure it spread.

"Oh wow, that's weird!"

Astrid commented, and Eret looked a little unsure until Hiccup reassured him.

"Feels _awesome_ once you start moving it, honestly."

Loose and eager already, Eret seemed to take Hiccup with no trouble whatsoever, arching his back, rolling his hips to savour the feeling. Astrid looked them both over, seeing how Hiccup was already looking debauched, his chest flushed and his hair sticking to his sweaty face. Eret was still in that space of urgency and need, eyes wide, movements a little frantic.

Once Astrid had fit the sleeve over Eret's cock, Hiccup began to thrust. The back and forth of Eret's movements meant he was either fully impaled on Hiccup, or burying himself in the depths of the cock stroker. It didn't take much of that dual assault the man to be rendered practically cross-eyed with pleasure, Astrid rather enjoying the weighty feel of his cock pressing into her hand, stretching the toy around his shaft before he rocked back on to Hiccup. Eret was _whimpering_ before long, one hand landing on Astrid's shoulder to try and brace himself, body struggling to stay upright.

Astrid tightened her grip, and it was all Eret could take. His hips jerked, instinct pushing him forward as he pumped himself into the sleeve, head dropping forward as he groaned long and loud, voice trailing into a weak, desperate keening sound before he stilled.

She'd not realised until then that the sleeve had a hole at the end. It was quite clever, she mused, made it easier to clean. It also meant Eret's come began to drip out of the end, mixed with lube and seeming content to stick itself to Astrid's hand. When she looked up from that discovery, Astrid caught Hiccup tugging off his condom before jerking himself a final few times, coming with a primal growl of satisfaction all over Eret's back.

There was quiet save for ragged breaths for a couple of minutes, before Hiccup staggered upright and retrieved a pack of wipes, trading Astrid for the soiled toy that he dropped into an empty plastic tub. Both Eret's Mystic and Astrid's Hunter joined it, and when Astrid squinted, she saw _for cleaning_ written on the side.

How was _anyone_ so bloody organised?

Wiping various fluids off her skin, Astrid laughed as Eret dropped quite gracelessly on the bed. Hiccup patted the side of his arm, chuckling.

"Never thought you'd be a one shot wonder."

"I'm not! I just need a small amount of time to reboot."

Eret defended, and Hiccup continued to snicker.

"Well, you do that. I think I promised Astrid something earlier."

"Yes, yes you did. But you _can_ bring me a snack too."

Hiccup stuck his tongue out.

"Told you it was necessary!"

* * *

Hiccup was glad to discover that a very, _very_ messy night full of rampant sexuality had not made office life awkward. They'd even talked about a repeat get together, because it _had_ been an amazing night, and it really was freeing to not be concerned about being judged.

He _had_ ordered himself a Bad Dragon mug too. Astrid was still drinking out of hers.

"What is that? Is it a band?"

Justin asked. Astrid's eyes widened. It was the closest Hiccup had seen to her being shaken about the logo.

"Uh. Sure. Not sure you'd be in to them though."

He hummed, and continued on to collect things from the printer. Hiccup was biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, and Eret had disappeared under the desk so he could only assume the other man was in hysterics down there.

That was their last day in the office, as it turned out, the stragglers sent off to work from home as the concerns over that virus began to grow. Sat at his desk at home on day three, Hiccup wondered if Justin had googled Bad Dragon out of curiousity. Gods only knew what he'd think of Astrid once he knew...

There was a knock at the door. Confused, Hiccup checked he was definitely wearing trousers that time (the day before, he'd flashed the postman getting out of bed in a rush) before he headed down to answer it.

"Uh. Hi Astrid?"

They weren't _really_ meant to have visitors if it wasn't super important, from what he understood. Also, Astrid had a bag.

"Hey. Please let me stay here before I murder my flatmate. I'll sleep on the sofa bed or put stuff in your butt. Whatever floats your boat."

Absolutely bemused, Hiccup let her in just so she'd stop saying that sort of thing on the doorstep where all his work-from-home neighbours might hear.

"Uh. Sure. You can stay here. _If_ you don't talk about sodomising me in the street again."

"Is that a yes to actually doing it?"

Hiccup laughed, wondering whether or not he should offer her food or find some kind of protective armour. Before he made that decision, his phone started ringing.

"Eret? What's up? Work stuff?"

"Sort of... no, not really. Can I crash at your place? These two haven't left the flat in like, three days and I swear I can't breathe."

Unsure if the universe was sending him people to be horny in isolation with or a great test of mental fortitude, Hiccup sighed.

"If you're symptom free and promise to wash your clothes when you get here, sure." Hiccup didn't want the smell of marijuana permeating his home "you're fighting for somewhere to sleep with Astrid though, since she's here too."

"Sleepover! I'll bring Winston."

Eret hung up, leaving Hiccup to stare at his phone, shaking his head.

"Is Eret coming here too?"

"It looks that way. I think he's worried the cloud of pot smoke from the twins is going to slowly kill him."

Astrid laughed, shaking her head.

"Well then, it'll be just like the office except nobody has to wear clothes."

Five days later (all five of which Eret and Astrid had somehow spent sleeping in Hiccup's bed despite insisting he'd 'hardly know they were there!'), their city was put on lockdown. Whcih meant technically, they were all stuck with each other indefinitely.

And honestly, Hiccup found he didn't really mind the idea.

-HTTYD-

**I spent a lot of time reading reviews and looking up pictures for this fic, which was... an experience. All toys mentioned are real Bad Dragon options. Where possible, usage based on real reviews. Handled a few Bad Dragons in my time, but never bought one for myself.  
**


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